The Most Important Thing To Look For In A Partner

When we look for a partner, we usually forget the most important thing. Instead, we focus only on superficial features. So, we find people who fit into our image: Brown or blonde hair, tall or short, mature or immature, kind or serious… However,  this selection process causes problems in the long run when we realize that we do not connect with our partner on a deeper level. This is when relationship problems usually begin. So what is the most important thing to look for in a partner? Today we are going to take a look at this.

Looking for the right partner is a conscious decision

Looking for a partner must be a conscious decision. It comes from maturity and knowing what you really want to find. First of all, it is true that it is not a perfect person for you. You will not find anyone who has all the items you want.

However , it is possible to be sure that the partner you choose is the best for you. The key is to pay attention to the following indispensable aspects.

Their fears

Everyone has a kind of fear. However, some of them can disrupt your relationship negatively. For example, is the person you have chosen afraid to be alone? If so, you will find yourself in a dependent relationship.

If this is the case, you may be overwhelmed by some of your partner’s attitudes. This is especially true of the attitudes they use to feel safe and get rid of the fear that you will leave them.

In the same way, they may be afraid that you will be unfaithful. This is especially true if they have been through similar experiences before. In this case, you need to think carefully about this.

Sometimes this seems like a lack of trust. This can be translated into constant questions: “Where have you been?”, “Who were you with?”, And control over your phone and your social networks.

Be aware of these fears and know about them before entering into a serious relationship.

Their personality

They say that opposites attract each other. But the truth is that it is really necessary that your personality is at least a little similar to your partner’s personality.

For example, if one of the two people is very organized and the other is very disorganized, this can lead to problems. You can not change the person you are in a relationship with. First of all, you need to be very aware of this. It is possible that the existing differences do not irritate you to begin with. Make sure that this also continues in the future.

Over time, things in the relationship will begin to irritate you that did not bother you before. Do not let yourself be blindly led by the time of falling in love. If looking for the right partner for you is something on your mind, you need to consider this.

Communication styles

There are some people who find it difficult to talk about some topics, while others can talk about anything. Communication is important for any relationship. And if this fails, all will be lost. Meaningless arguments and various problems can come from a lack of understanding and incorrect communication.

Because of this, it is important to determine the other person’s communication style. Do they really listen to you? Do they talk honestly about what’s going on? Do they usually lie? Knowing these things can really help your relationship to succeed.

What makes you attracted to them?

When looking for a relationship, idealization will blind you. This will carry you further and make you forget everything we have mentioned up to this point. However, it is important to make an effort to be realistic. After all, as time goes on, the magic fades and you both have to work on the relationship. This does not just happen by itself.

What will keep you together? There must be something there. It could be a sense of humor or something with the other person that attracts you. It should be something special and unique. If not, you may have found yourself not really stimulating. You may feel empty.

Looking for a partner is not always a goal. Sometimes we prefer to see where life takes us and wait for someone to show up. However, if you are in this active search, remember the tips above to lay the foundation for future success.