5 Mistakes That Strict Parents Often Make
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Some parents have high expectations of their children. They want them to do their best and reach their full potential. However, strict parents may not see the results they hope for.
When this happens, it’s time to take a look at yourself and see what’s wrong. After all, no one likes to think that they can make mistakes, but it is very easy to make mistakes, especially when it comes to raising children.
Strict parents do not realize that the high demands do not improve performance
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You may think that pushing, encouraging and putting pressure on your child to do their best will improve their performance in school.
But what happens when your boss puts pressure on you? Do you feel motivated, or do you start to feel unbearably stressed?
Being overly strict will be counterproductive in most cases, because it comes with stress and anxiety.
In addition, your child may think that they are not good enough for you. They will realize that they are not meeting your expectations and this will discourage them.
You have to give them space. The pressure does not always give good results.
2. They do not know that perfectionism is not a good thing
Do you really want to raise your child to be a perfectionist ? You know better than anyone that perfectionism does not exist.
Humans are imperfect, and we will always make mistakes. However, it is not just negative: mistakes help us learn and grow.
Strict parents tend to be very unforgiving with the mistakes their children make. But fighting this is useless.
If we do not stumble and fall, and if we do not face the consequences of our actions, we will never be able to figure out which way to go.
They have unattainable, frustrating expectations
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You have probably already heard more than once that your expectations should be realistic if you want them to be met.
Remember that your children will try to do as much as possible to make you proud of them.
But try to keep your expectations of something they can actually meet. Failure to do so may result in frustration and may even lead to depression.
Strict parents have very high goals for their children, but have you ever asked yourself what they want? What are their goals?
It is a good thing to wish those you love the most to get far in life. However, this is not your responsibility.
The goals are personal, and no one else can accomplish them or impose them on anyone else.
4. They forget that problems with personal relationships affect their children
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Your personal relationships are very important to you, but strict parents can seriously affect their relationships.
Strict parenting can be too demanding. They will start to expect too much from their children and put the list too high.
This leads to disappointments and a general atmosphere of negativity. This will not only affect their relationship with their children but also with everyone around them.
We must also be realistic when it comes to personal matters. If we are too strict, we lose them.
5. They learn that love must be earned
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A child who has strict parents notices the love they give him or her when he / she meets or does not meet standards.
The child then learns that love is not unconditional, but rather the opposite. If he makes a mistake, he is no longer loved. If she does not meet her parents’ expectations, she is not worthy of affection.
All this leads to serious self-esteem problems and great uncertainties that will affect the child’s future circumstances.
Children today are under a lot of pressure, and feel the need to seek parental approval.
This is not only the beginning of an accident, but also the beginning of a relationship failure.
Strict parents must be aware that they are also making mistakes, and that their children do not have to be perfect. Having confidence in their abilities, not results, is what really matters.